l Times在上海的的多元內(nèi)容推薦，雙語熱門話題助您長姿勢！
今日話題
再過幾天就是七夕了。
就算你對這個(gè)節(jié)日不感興趣，鋪天蓋地的商家廣告也會(huì)一遍一遍提示你它的存在。
心好累……
雖然真正意義上的七夕是“乞巧節(jié)”，和愛情并沒有多大關(guān)系，但近年來商家普遍把七夕與愛情綁定起來——于是，七夕節(jié)就（莫名其妙地）成為了中國的又一個(gè)“情人節(jié)”。
既然是“情人節(jié)”，送花送巧克力約會(huì)搞浪漫之類的套路自然少不了。相信也有不少水到渠成的小情侶已經(jīng)盯好了這個(gè)日子，把彼此間的關(guān)系更進(jìn)一步——
比如，求婚。
說到求婚，受到西方文化的影響，咱們中國人的求婚套路無非也就那么幾個(gè)。時(shí)間地點(diǎn)場合氛圍再怎么變，總有一個(gè)東西少不了。
那就是戒指。
男人向女朋友求婚，或多或少需要一枚戒指（哪怕他自己壓根不想買 ）。雖然沒人能說清楚求婚和戒指之間到底存在什么必然聯(lián)系，但既然別人都是這樣做的，那也就跟風(fēng)做好了……
何況，普通的戒指還不行。你得買貴的，品牌的，甚至帶鉆的，才能體現(xiàn)出誠意。
這不，最近國外有個(gè)妹紙就被男友求婚了。這本來是件高興的事，但她卻為此相當(dāng)不滿，甚至在網(wǎng)上發(fā)帖大發(fā)牢騷。
為啥呢？因?yàn)樗杏阉偷?strong>訂婚戒指折合成人民幣才11000多塊錢，她覺得太便宜太掉價(jià)了……
來看看她的吐槽——
DP proposed and presented me with the ring he’d chosen – a diamond solitaire in white gold. I was so happy and excited to accept but was disappointed when I first saw the ring.
男票向我求婚了，送了個(gè)戒指給我——鑲著一顆小鉆石的白金戒指。被求婚了真的超開心超激動(dòng)，但是當(dāng)我一看到這枚戒指時(shí)，我真是很失望?。?/strong>
The first word that entered my head was ‘small’. There’s nothing to dislike about the type of ring per se, as a diamond solitaire would have been my choice, but it’s the whole thing - the colour of the gold, the setting, the small stone and relatively chunky shoulders.
看到戒指的第一眼我腦中就一個(gè)字：??！雖說戒指的款式?jīng)]啥毛病啦，單顆鉆石的設(shè)計(jì)我也很喜歡，但是這戒指居然是金色的！鉆石也超級小！戒托也不好看！總之哪哪都不滿意！
His salary is nearing a 6 figure sum and he’s usually very generous. Having seen the receipt I know he paid ￡1,300 for it – which is a lot less than I would have imagined he would have spent on such a significant piece of jewellery.
我男票收入6位數(shù)，平常也都蠻大方的。但是我看了眼戒指的收據(jù)——天辣！才1300磅！比我想象的少多了好嗎！這么重要的戒指，他怎么也應(yīng)該買個(gè)更貴的啊！
(via Mumsnet)
（圖via Getty)
1300磅，折合成人民幣就是11000塊。
這是個(gè)什么概念呢？
主頁君查了下部分知名品牌的訂婚戒指價(jià)格，發(fā)現(xiàn)1萬塊左右還是能買到一枚小小的鉆戒的。
當(dāng)然了，在被商家越炒越兇的婚戒市場里，1萬塊的確不算是多么高的預(yù)算。
……但問題是，就因?yàn)槟衅辟I的婚戒只有1300磅，這妹子就要在網(wǎng)上各種吐槽發(fā)牢騷？因?yàn)橐幻督渲妇团梅路鸹槎疾幌虢Y(jié)了？
到底是嫁給一個(gè)和你相愛的人，還是嫁給一枚戒指？？
果然，這妹子立即遭到了許多姑娘的吐槽……
Some people were pretty shocked by the admission. “Talk about being ungrateful,” one user commented. “這妹子真是沒良心?！?/span>
Another said they’d be “disappointed” if they asked someone to marry them and all they cared about was the ring. “I mean someone wants to commit the rest of your lives together and you want to make a fuss over a ring?” “他在期待和你攜手度過余生，你卻在對著一枚戒指嘰嘰歪歪？”
Another simply wrote: “I think you sound grabby. Why is it about the size of the diamond? He’s making a commitment to you. It doesn’t have to be about money or ‘flashiness’.” “妹子你太貪婪了。鉆石大不大有那么重要嗎？他是在求婚，向你許諾終生，跟戒指本身有多貴有多閃沒關(guān)系吧！”
▲Woman Complains About ￡1,300 Ring, Sparks Fierce Debate About Engagement Etiquette (via Huffington Post)
的確，如果我是妹子的男票，精心策劃了一場約會(huì)、提前準(zhǔn)備好戒指、鼓起勇氣向她求婚——卻換來了她對戒指的各種抱怨不滿，把整件事的重點(diǎn)都給跑偏了……我也會(huì)很難過啊。
“我在意的是你，你卻只在意戒指?！?nbsp;大概就是這種感覺了吧？
不過呢，雖然有許多人在罵這個(gè)妹子，也不乏一些網(wǎng)友在幫她說話……
“I would prepare to be flamed and called grabby,” one commenter wrote. “But if this is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with you should be able to have a conversation about this. If it can be returned and you can pick something you like better, together, then do that, but I would probably try and stick to his budget or put the extra to it yourself if you choose something more expensive.” “如果對方真是你打算共度余生的人，關(guān)于戒指這個(gè)事兒，你和他最好還是談?wù)劇?strong>如果戒指能退掉，能讓你們再選一個(gè)你更喜歡的，這當(dāng)然再好不過。哪怕更喜歡的戒指會(huì)更貴一些，你可以自己負(fù)擔(dān)他預(yù)算范圍之外的那一部分。好吧……說了這么多，我已經(jīng)做好被人噴貪婪的準(zhǔn)備了?！?/span>
Another added: “There’s no way on Earth I’d allow someone else [to] choose a piece of jewellery for me that I’d potentially be wearing for decades. I wouldn’t even let my partner choose this year’s winter coat.” “畢竟是接下來要佩戴好幾十年的戒指啊……當(dāng)然想挑一個(gè)自己更喜歡的款式了。我連冬天的外套都不想讓老公幫我選呢，更何況戒指這么重要的東西！”
One commenter said they didn’t know what she could do about the diamond size, but added: “You are the person who will be wearing the ring and having to look at it all day every day. The cost is not as much of a factor but you must be happy with the look of the ring. Just tell him you are not keen on the setting and you would prefer to choose another ring together.” “要一直戴著戒指、每天看著它的人是你。價(jià)格倒是其次，如果戒指不好看你也不喜歡，那確實(shí)有些心塞啊。不如就和男票商量下，說你想換個(gè)款式更喜歡的，如何？”
▲Woman Complains About ￡1,300 Ring, Sparks Fierce Debate About Engagement Etiquette (via Huffington Post)
這些網(wǎng)友表示，妹紙的失望還是可以理解噠！畢竟戒指不比其他的消耗品，可能一戴就會(huì)是大半輩子，如果是自己不喜歡的樣式，那天天看它懟在無名指上也挺郁悶的。
到底該花多少錢？
不喜歡款式是一回事，嫌棄價(jià)格又是另一回事。
對于“1300磅的戒指太便宜”，也有人表示不能一味地批評這妹紙。畢竟她提到了男票的收入高達(dá)6位數(shù)，1300塊對他來說真不算什么大價(jià)錢。
很多姑娘會(huì)有這種想法：我并不在意戒指本身多么貴重，而是在意你的態(tài)度。如果一個(gè)男人收入豐厚，平時(shí)出手也很大方，買什么限量版的昂貴手表球鞋樂器電子產(chǎn)品不在話下，在求婚戒指的購買上卻分外“吝嗇”，的確會(huì)讓一些姑娘覺得不被重視。
這不，幾年前曾有人發(fā)起過這樣一個(gè)投票：
▲“用多少個(gè)月的工資來買求婚戒指比較合適？” (via weddingbee)
在大家的投票中，選擇“半個(gè)月”和“一個(gè)月”工資的為最多，分別占33%和29%。
其次，選擇“三個(gè)月”的占13%，“兩個(gè)月”的占11%。
有趣的是，發(fā)起這個(gè)投票的是一枚漢子——
@may_wedding :
Recently, my girlfriends and I had quite a lively discussion about how much a guy should spend on e-rings. Now I am here, to ask you for your unbiased opinions!
最近，我和女票就“該花多少錢買訂婚戒指”一事激烈討論過一番?，F(xiàn)在來問問各位的意見哈！
I know the 2-3 months salary rule (in the US) was invented by jewelers to make people spend more money. So I am asking, what do you think is reasonable depending on the guys salary? Also, what would you consider too cheap? Specifically, lets say a guy makes 60k and spends 5k for the ring?
我知道，在美國通常有個(gè)不成文規(guī)定：訂婚戒指等等要花掉2-3個(gè)月的工資。嗯嗯，這個(gè)規(guī)定是珠寶商定的 所以咯，你們覺得花掉多少工資去買戒指才比較靠譜？以及，什么價(jià)位的戒指你們會(huì)覺得太“便宜”了？比方說，如果一個(gè)人月薪6萬塊，花5000塊買戒指呢？
下面的回答也是五花八門……
@waitingalongtime:
I personally found a ring online I LOVED for $10000 and wanted that ring. He spend more than that, saying he wasn’t that cheap! I think it’s the sentiment more than the money, but I’m a VERY money conscious person so I would have been MAD as H*LL if he would have spent $5k on a ring!
我在網(wǎng)上看到一款超喜歡的戒指，大概1萬美元左右，我很想要！結(jié)果我老公最后買的戒指比這個(gè)還貴，他說自己沒那么廉價(jià)哈哈哈……雖然感情比價(jià)格本身更重要，但我對價(jià)格真的還蠻在意的。如果他只送我一個(gè)5000美元的戒指的話，我估計(jì)會(huì)瘋掉！
（……你也太容易瘋掉了 ）
@KinkyOrange:
I would on no account spend more than about ￡1,500 on a ring, no matter what the groom earns. You have to wear this ring every day… big rings make you a target for crime, catch on things, and are too easily damaged.
無論新郎收入有多少，如果他送的戒指超過了1500磅，我估計(jì)就不會(huì)同意了。你要想啊，這個(gè)戒指要天天戴的！如果它是很貴的那種，那必然鉆石很大又很閃，那還不常常被賊和搶劫的惦記著?。课姨焯齑髦集}得慌好嗎！而且越昂貴浮夸的戒指越容易損壞，戴著它小心翼翼的，我還要不要日常工作生活了？
（妹紙你真實(shí)誠！）
@Hyperventilate:
I think anything over $1,500 is too expensive. Period. I don’t think there is a such thing as too cheap of a ring. If you love it, who cares.
我覺得任何超過1500美元的東西都挺貴的，不管是戒指亦或別的什么。嗯。至于什么價(jià)位的戒指會(huì)“太便宜”……呵呵，只要你喜歡，管它到底多少錢呢！
@Booknerd:
Honestly, I was originally looking at rings that cost like $60 and my dad told me that was way too cheap and that if I told Nerd that’s what I wanted, he would feel inadequate buying it. Now what I’m looking at is in the $800-$1000 range.
講真，我本來覺得能有個(gè)60美元左右的戒指就很不錯(cuò)啦~ 結(jié)果我爸說，閨女啊……60塊未免也太便宜啦……如果你告訴你男票說要買個(gè)60塊的戒指，他會(huì)買都不敢買的…… 好吧，現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)把價(jià)位放在800-1000美元上了
（這妹子好萌啊哈哈哈……）
Alright，走過路過順手投個(gè)票吧——
戒指最重要？當(dāng)然不！
說回前面那個(gè)嫌棄男友1300磅戒指的妹紙。
價(jià)格1300磅，還是枚小小的鉆戒，實(shí)在和“寒磣”兩字沾不上邊。盡管與她男友6位數(shù)的收入“不太匹配”，但過于計(jì)較一枚戒指的價(jià)格，本就有些舍本逐末了。
這不，看到妹紙這樣發(fā)牢騷，各國的新娘們都站出來懟她了——大家紛紛曬出了自己的戒指……
（注：以下翻譯部分已折算成人民幣）
▲Australian women made up the large contingent - with this woman posted '$112. And I LOVE it. It's not about the cost. It's about the fact I get to spend the rest of my life calling the man I'm completely and irrevocably in love with' “只要！740塊！我超愛這個(gè)戒指！重要的不是價(jià)格本身，而是我能和最愛的他攜手共度一生~~”
▲Dr. Ansa Phoenix Lindeque, from Kingston upon Thames, proudly shared this snap of her opal and silver engagement ring, which cost ￡55. She also has a titanium and sapphire wedding band ordered over the internet for ￡45 銀色貓眼石的訂婚戒指，只要470塊~
▲Ariel McRae showed off her ￡100 ring and said 'I would have gotten married to this man if it had been a 25 cent gumball machine ring' “我的戒指850塊~~如果他送的是個(gè)兩塊錢的‘戒指糖’的話，我估計(jì)還會(huì)更早嫁給他，哈哈哈~”
▲Rachel Chadwick wears a birthstone ring as her engagement ring in sterling silver. 'It was ￡40 and I love it,' “340塊的銀戒指~我很喜歡！”
▲'My husband and I found my wedding ring at an antiques and collectibles fair. It cost nowhere near even $100 (￡60) and I LOVE it,' said a bride about her ring, picture “在一個(gè)古玩集市淘到的這枚婚戒，差不多660塊的樣子~超喜歡~”
▲This ring, posted by a blushing bride-to-be, will set you back ￡329 and was snapped up on a vintage store on Etsy 在網(wǎng)上買的古董戒指，2800塊左右~（很好看??！不比上萬的差 ）
▲'$69 (￡42) no f***s given hubby, kids and I picked it out together so it means more to me than any $2000 ring ever would have,' said this bride who wears her pink ring proudly “460塊的戒指~這是我們一家人一起選的，在我心中它比那些動(dòng)輒上萬的戒指們還要棒！”
▲Brides from around the world proudly flood social media with snaps of their 'cheap' engagement rings after one woman admitted she was 'disappointed' with her ￡1,300 band (via Daily Mail)
戒指這東西，無論被商家賦予了多少“象征意義”，它都不該成為衡量彼此感情的工具。
再閃耀的鉆石，再昂貴的戒指，也比不上相愛的人互相扶持，共同走過歲月的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴。
